Friday, October 9, 2009
Goodbye Bryan
Last week i made the long awaited trip to say goodbye to Bryan...i know it is not goodbye to my friendships there, but it is goodbye to a life that i will never live again. For 3 years Dayton was my home...and i miss it. I don't think i realized how much until i went back to say goodbye. Arriving in late September, i missed the humid hot air that i have become to accussumed to when i normall return to the South at the end of summer. As i arrived on Bryan's campus i felt as if i had finally woken up from a 4 month long dream. This is the life i know...it is home. But as i walked across the triangle and saw so many new faces, reality hit - i do not belong here anymore. I DO miss it, but the Lord has very clearly lead me back home to Portland, and to Multnomah.
The weekend at Bryan was exactly what i needed for closure, and to really begin a new stage of life that only 3 months ago i had no idea would exist. I spent much of my time on Huston base with my girls that i have known for years, my faithful few that always stuck with me. Evey time i was on the hall i felt refreshed, because i KNEW and was KNOWN. We were able to sit and laugh and remember and share, all the while truly knowing each other. But i have to remember that even though i am not a part of their daily lives anymore, we will always be a part of each others lives, though for the time being it may be 2,500 miles, 3 time zones, and a 40 hour drive away. The hour before i left to go back to Atlanta, i had a walk around campus...i needed to remember and to grieve. Every place i went i thought of my favorite memories spent in that spot.
*I walked out the front door of Huston and remembered my first encounter with the biggest spider i had ever seen, i swear it was the size of my fist! I was sitting on the bricks outside of the building my first night in Dayton, and suddenly the spider came crawling towards me. Of course i screamed and jumped, and i don't think i have ever sat there again. As i looked at the outside of the building i suddenly had this image of panty hose filled with flour flying across the sidewalk and sticking to the side of the building. One night in October of my first year, Andrew, Ryan, Evan, Lindsay and I had gettysburg war (this is the name for hitting each other with flour filled pantyhose), and for months i still saw the remains of flour swiped across the building.
*From there i walked to the gym, and remembered all of the early (well, early for me was 9am), morning that i would get up and run over to the gym to meet Funke for a workout. I also glanced at the tennis courts and thought of the times we would meet to play, though we would usually end up talking insead of playing. I thought of all the hours Kyle spent teaching me how to hit the ball correctly...I can still hear our conversation as i would hit it wrong again - he would look at me sternly and say "Amanda". my response was always "I know Kyle, I know!" I miss tennis...I miss Kyle and Liz (rocking her second serve!)
*I passed by the pool and saw our first all girl RA hang out...it was just my second night of meeting all of them and a bit overwhelming. I also remembered having my first good conversation with Wendy while sitting by the pool. And the time that Elisabeth pulled out all my grey hairs while dangling our feet in the water.
*Then came the baseball diamond...it wasn't until spring break of my last year that i finally went down to watch a baseball game (well, it was really to support Ben, JD, and DZ). I still don't really get baseball...and then there's the soccer field. Some of my very favorite Bryan memories - wearing my red Beat Covenant t-shirt, sitting in the cold at night, cheering for Carlos, and the memory of 500 Bryan students wearing red and running out of the woods right before the Covenant game. After that i saw the practice soccer field, where i spent about 3 nights a week playing ultimate with the boys. My favorite nights were after the rain when the field was so muddy we all ran around barefoot and would slip and fall on our faces while trying to jump. Most of the injuries i have ever had occured on this field: a black eye from Tim's fist, the scar that takes up most of my right knee from running and sliding through a rocky mud puddle, a hairline fracture on my foot from playing barefoot, and so many time having the wind knocked out of me from the boys running full force into me (i'm a girl, you'd think they would have mercy!)
*Walking up to the cafeteria - the very first place i drove with my mops just over 3 years ago on humid summer evening. Bruce and Kari met us there and lead us to the back of Huston so i could begin unpacking all of my stuff.
*Looking out over the grassy bowl - i can remember the most beautiful sunsets, especially after thunderstorms. And then i saw my spot...the 2 trees next to the library where i used to put my hammock and look out over Dayton. I would read and dream, pray and often fall asleep in this spot. There is no other place in all the world that makes me happier (well, apart from Cascade Locks =).
*Then i turned around and looked up to the cafe, and thought of my first converstation sitting outside with L.P...the beginning of a wonderfull friendship. I looked down and saw the sidewalk that ends in the middle of the grass, and remembered the scavenger hunt that Cassie-Marie created for the Long boys, that ended with the poem "Where the sidewalk ends". We placed a bucket full of fudge round for them at the end of the sidewalk, and i still remember them running towards it, grabbing the fudge rounds and kicking them in the air!
*As i walked through the middle of campus i thought that there could never be such a beautiful place, where so many wonderfull memories could happen. The grass was so green, the trees so full, the pathways and benches so inviting.
I miss Bryan...but the memories will forever be etched in my mind, and will always bring a smile to my face.
The weekend at Bryan was exactly what i needed for closure, and to really begin a new stage of life that only 3 months ago i had no idea would exist. I spent much of my time on Huston base with my girls that i have known for years, my faithful few that always stuck with me. Evey time i was on the hall i felt refreshed, because i KNEW and was KNOWN. We were able to sit and laugh and remember and share, all the while truly knowing each other. But i have to remember that even though i am not a part of their daily lives anymore, we will always be a part of each others lives, though for the time being it may be 2,500 miles, 3 time zones, and a 40 hour drive away. The hour before i left to go back to Atlanta, i had a walk around campus...i needed to remember and to grieve. Every place i went i thought of my favorite memories spent in that spot.
*I walked out the front door of Huston and remembered my first encounter with the biggest spider i had ever seen, i swear it was the size of my fist! I was sitting on the bricks outside of the building my first night in Dayton, and suddenly the spider came crawling towards me. Of course i screamed and jumped, and i don't think i have ever sat there again. As i looked at the outside of the building i suddenly had this image of panty hose filled with flour flying across the sidewalk and sticking to the side of the building. One night in October of my first year, Andrew, Ryan, Evan, Lindsay and I had gettysburg war (this is the name for hitting each other with flour filled pantyhose), and for months i still saw the remains of flour swiped across the building.
*From there i walked to the gym, and remembered all of the early (well, early for me was 9am), morning that i would get up and run over to the gym to meet Funke for a workout. I also glanced at the tennis courts and thought of the times we would meet to play, though we would usually end up talking insead of playing. I thought of all the hours Kyle spent teaching me how to hit the ball correctly...I can still hear our conversation as i would hit it wrong again - he would look at me sternly and say "Amanda". my response was always "I know Kyle, I know!" I miss tennis...I miss Kyle and Liz (rocking her second serve!)
*I passed by the pool and saw our first all girl RA hang out...it was just my second night of meeting all of them and a bit overwhelming. I also remembered having my first good conversation with Wendy while sitting by the pool. And the time that Elisabeth pulled out all my grey hairs while dangling our feet in the water.
*Then came the baseball diamond...it wasn't until spring break of my last year that i finally went down to watch a baseball game (well, it was really to support Ben, JD, and DZ). I still don't really get baseball...and then there's the soccer field. Some of my very favorite Bryan memories - wearing my red Beat Covenant t-shirt, sitting in the cold at night, cheering for Carlos, and the memory of 500 Bryan students wearing red and running out of the woods right before the Covenant game. After that i saw the practice soccer field, where i spent about 3 nights a week playing ultimate with the boys. My favorite nights were after the rain when the field was so muddy we all ran around barefoot and would slip and fall on our faces while trying to jump. Most of the injuries i have ever had occured on this field: a black eye from Tim's fist, the scar that takes up most of my right knee from running and sliding through a rocky mud puddle, a hairline fracture on my foot from playing barefoot, and so many time having the wind knocked out of me from the boys running full force into me (i'm a girl, you'd think they would have mercy!)
*Walking up to the cafeteria - the very first place i drove with my mops just over 3 years ago on humid summer evening. Bruce and Kari met us there and lead us to the back of Huston so i could begin unpacking all of my stuff.
*Looking out over the grassy bowl - i can remember the most beautiful sunsets, especially after thunderstorms. And then i saw my spot...the 2 trees next to the library where i used to put my hammock and look out over Dayton. I would read and dream, pray and often fall asleep in this spot. There is no other place in all the world that makes me happier (well, apart from Cascade Locks =).
*Then i turned around and looked up to the cafe, and thought of my first converstation sitting outside with L.P...the beginning of a wonderfull friendship. I looked down and saw the sidewalk that ends in the middle of the grass, and remembered the scavenger hunt that Cassie-Marie created for the Long boys, that ended with the poem "Where the sidewalk ends". We placed a bucket full of fudge round for them at the end of the sidewalk, and i still remember them running towards it, grabbing the fudge rounds and kicking them in the air!
*As i walked through the middle of campus i thought that there could never be such a beautiful place, where so many wonderfull memories could happen. The grass was so green, the trees so full, the pathways and benches so inviting.
I miss Bryan...but the memories will forever be etched in my mind, and will always bring a smile to my face.
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